Loving Your Body, Even When It’s Hard
You’ve had this love, but honestly (mostly) hateful relationship with your body. You’ve wanted your body to look different for as long as you can remember. Maybe it’s hard to even think of a time when you did love or respect your body because most days you look in the mirror and don’t recognize the reflection looking back at you. Which is why you judge, blame, and criticize yourself for not being in a smaller body.
Trust me, I get it.
It’s hard to love your body when you have so much dislike, even hatred for it. Our thoughts, feelings, and emotions about our body image heavily influences our personal experiences and plays such a big role in how we experience life. Oftentimes, (from my own personal experience too), our negative body image holds us back from truly experiencing present moments because we are too preoccupied with our appearance. And it is really difficult to challenge negative body image thoughts and love our body for how it is showing up because of societal messages about thinness, nutrition, and fitness.
It feels like we have to fit into a specific mold for our body to be deemed worthy of love and respect.
Despite the messages that we are being fed by society, you don’t have to change your body to accept or give it love. You deserve to love your body, even when it feels hard (or impossible), for however it is showing up in that moment! Here are some tips for how you can begin to hold space for your body, let go of the judgment, guilt, and shame, and build an authentic neutral or even loving relationship with your body.
Free Tips On Loving Your Body
Give Yourself a Break–When you compare yourself to people on Instagram or TikTok, remember that these people don’t actually look like that. They are photo-shopped, airbrushed, and have had their hair and makeup professionally done. Check the facts of the situation and take a step back by putting the phone down and close your social media for the day. Just unplug!
Focus on Appreciation–Take 3 deep breaths and ask yourself what do I love about my body? Maybe start with things like: ‘I love the way my arms are able to hug people’ or ‘My legs get me places and help me close drawers when my hands are full’. See how many things you can find about what your body DOES that you can appreciate. Perhaps you make a list of qualities unrelated to your body that give you and your life value such as, your kindness, intelligence, humor, creativity, etc.! There are so many things that your body does for you that we forget to acknowledge and there are also so many things that make us, us. We are more than just a body.
Reduce the Criticism–Sometimes people believe that if they focus on what they don’t like, it will motivate them to change. The opposite is true. If you notice yourself measuring and pinching parts of your body that you don’t like, see if you can get yourself to STOP these actions. If you notice you’re in front of the mirror or critiquing your selfies often, commit to yourself that you will avoid the mirror and/or stop taking selfies for 1 week (or 1 day if you need to start there). Journal about this experience, what did you notice? Were you as critical? Try your best to be more attuned to how you are speaking to yourself and the language that you are using.
Ditch the Idea that Looking a Certain Way Will Make You Happier–Before you can learn how to love and respect your body, you need to let go of the idea that looking a certain way would equal happiness, acceptance, or approval. We need to really take some space to question if our bodies are the problem or if the ideals/belief systems that society has is the problem. Instead of forcing yourself to fit into the societal mold of what your body should look like, adopt a new way of thinking. Maybe you utilize mantras that focus on your worth and value. Perhaps you get curious about why you want to look different and spend time exploring why this feels important to you. Is it related to happiness, approval, value, and/or affection from others?
Stop Judging Other People’s Bodies–For us to learn how to love our own bodies, we need to be more mindful of the judgments we are placing on other people’s bodies. Encourage yourself to be more mindful and catch yourself when you are criticizing someone else. You and everyone else’s body deserves to be accepted.
Do Something That Makes Your Body Feel Good Every Day–Make a habit of doing something for your body every day! It can be anything that shows your body love and acceptance.
Breathe Into Compliments–If you receive a compliment, see if you can breathe into it rather than brushing it away. Take a few moments to really savor the compliment. Give yourself a few moments, even if you don’t believe it, to just pretend that it’s true. How would your life be different if you believed the compliments you received?
Adopting Neutrality–Your body just is…that is the mindset of body neutrality. Your body is not something to love or hate, it just is. Cultivating this type of relationship with your body allows you to be more mindful and even grateful for your body, regardless of how it looks. Body neutrality acknowledges the natural ebb and flow of how we feel about our bodies and that these feelings do not have to affect the way we view or value our body. Most importantly, body neutrality encourages us to focus on how our body serves and helps us experience the world around us. Something you could get really curious about is asking yourself, how is my body helping me experience this present moment?
Loving and/or honoring our body is a hard task and it isn’t as simple as it may seem. It takes time and effort to really challenge and change our belief systems and values surrounding bodies and body image. And while the road may be long, there are small, yet powerful steps you can take each day to improve your relationship with your body. You have the power to release what no longer serves you, like self-criticism, hatred, and judgment, and make space for things that benefit you.
