9 DBT Skills for Handling Holiday Stress

Learn DBT Therapy for the Holidays in Philadelphia

By Julia Salerno, M.S., LPC

The holiday season can bring up an array of intense emotions in all of us, ranging from happiness and excitement to sadness and disappointment (to everything in between!).

These emotions, combined with the triggers that come with this time of year, can flood our minds with overwhelming thoughts and leave us vulnerable to mood swings and emotional instability.

Although people have good intentions when they wish us "Happy Holidays!" repeatedly, it can sometimes feel dismissive or amplify feelings of sadness and disillusionment if our lives haven't been filled with that same happiness recently.

Can anyone else relate to this emotional rollercoaster?

I know I can!

Fortunately, it can be comforting to know that you have the power to do something. This holiday season you can build your own holiday toolbox filled with DBT skills to use at your disposal. These skills are the gifts that keeps on giving and can really equipping you with the tools necessary to navigate even the most challenging situations that arise this holiday season!

There are so many skills to choose from when it comes to DBT therapy, and it might feel overwhelming to try and determine which one is most relevant for a particular situation. However, I want to make things easier for you by providing a helpful "cheat sheet" that serves as a quick reference guide. My hope is that this cheat sheet will empower you to start practicing and applying these DBT skills with ease, so you can navigate your emotions and relationships more effectively. So, let’s take a look at this cheat sheet together and dive in!

DBT Skills Cheat Sheet for Philly Holiday's

#1 One-Mindfully

The foundation of DBT therapy lies in the practice of mindfulness, which helps us stay fully present and engaged in the current moment, rather than getting overwhelmed by worries, anxieties, or regrets. Especially during the holiday season, when stress levels tend to soar, it is crucial to be mindful and stay grounded, without constantly dwelling on the past or worrying excessively about the future.

One-mindfully is a mindfulness skill that asks us to stop multitasking and instead focus our entire attention on one thing at a time, allowing us to fully immerse ourselves in the present experience.

For example, during the holiday season, when you are decorating your home, really immerse yourself in the process. Pay attention to every stroke of the brush, every decorative item you hang, and every detail that brings you joy. Similarly, when you are cooking a holiday meal, be fully present in the kitchen, savoring the scents, flavors, and textures of each ingredient. And when you are spending time with loved ones, truly be with them, actively listening, engaging in meaningful conversations, and creating lasting memories. By consciously keeping your focus on one task at a time, you can not only enjoy what is important to you, but also prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed by the seemingly endless list of things you feel you need to do or "should" do during the holiday season. So, remember, this holiday season, be present, be mindful, and be kind to yourself.

#2 Check the Facts

Remember, it's important to keep in mind that our feelings aren't always an accurate reflection of reality; they can often deceive us and lead us down a path of distorted thinking. So, if being around your family during this holiday season brings up difficult emotions or triggers negative thoughts and catastrophic thinking, it's the perfect opportunity to pull the check the facts skill out of your toolbox. By utilizing this skill, you can go through a systematic process of identifying what exactly triggered your emotion, describing what you observed using your senses, and challenging any judgments or black-and-white thinking that may be clouding your perspective. Through practicing this DBT skill, you can learn to align your emotional responses with the factual reality of the situation, which in turn, helps you to better manage intense feelings and foster stronger connections with those around you.

Get Support in Philadelphia with DBT Therapy to Improve Your Holidays!

#3 STOP Skill

STOP, which stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe the situation, and Proceed mindfully, is an effective technique that can be utilized when time is limited and quick intervention is necessary. This invaluable tool empowers individuals to gain control over their reactions and navigate challenging situations with increased self-awareness and intentionality. Regardless of where you find yourself, whether it's a bustling office, a crowded train, or even the comfort of your own home, the power of STOP is always at your disposal. So, the next time you feel the familiar surge of emotions threatening to guide your actions, remember to take a moment, breathe, and engage in the STOP skill.

#4 Self-Sooth

During the holiday season, it's important to take a moment to fully engage our senses and appreciate the little things that bring us joy. We often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the season, but by intentionally focusing on our senses, we can cultivate a sense of presence and gratitude. Take a moment to savor the taste of a peppermint, allowing its refreshing flavor to awaken your sense of taste. Let your eyes feast upon the colorful glow of Christmas lights, allowing their twinkling beauty to ignite your sense of sight. Listen to the joyful melodies of holiday music, allowing the harmonies to stir your sense of hearing. Breathe in the crisp, wintry scent of pine needles or warm spices, allowing these fragrances to awaken your sense of smell. By intentionally immersing ourselves in these experiences, we can find moments of wonder and appreciation amidst the holiday chaos. So, as the season unfolds, let's remember to pause, breathe, and fully embrace the joy that each of our senses has to offer.

#5 Participate

The mindfulness skill, participate, encourages us to jump in and be fully involved and invested in whatever we are doing.

Especially during the holiday season, participating takes on a special meaning as we seek to be present and engaged in all the festive activities, while consciously letting go of our anxieties, hurts, and never-ending to-do lists.

It also means setting aside our phones, even if just for a little while, so we can truly immerse ourselves in the joy and magic of the season. And if, amidst the hustle and bustle, our attention falters and we find ourselves straying, it's important not to judge ourselves harshly. Instead, we can gently bring our wandering thoughts back to the present moment and refocus on actively participating in the experience at hand. So, let's make a concerted effort to prioritize and actively participate in the activities that hold the most meaning and significance for us this season.

#6 Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance is a powerful distress tolerance skill that invites us to embrace and fully immerse ourselves in the present moment, surrendering to the reality of our circumstances. Particularly during the holiday season, it becomes even more essential to cultivate this skill as we navigate the ever-growing demands on our time and energy.

It involves acknowledging and accepting the limitations of time on the calendar and recognizing that we simply cannot do everything or be everywhere at once.

Rather than succumbing to the pressures of societal expectations, it empowers us to plan thoughtfully and purposefully, making choices based on the time that is available to us.

Furthermore, Radical acceptance encourages us to acknowledge and accept any disappointments or disheartening aspects associated with the holiday season, whether it be unfulfilled expectations or complicated family dynamics. It acknowledges that life may not always unfold the way we envision it, but it encourages us to release our attachment to idealized outcomes and instead embrace the reality before us. By embracing Radical Acceptance, we free ourselves from the clutches of resistance and open the door to charting our own path forward. Despite the inherent challenges and discomfort that may arise from accepting what is, we gain the freedom to make deliberate choices and determine how we want to move forward, ultimately fostering a sense of peace and empowerment within ourselves.

Get Support for Managing Holiday Stress with DBT Therapy in Philadelphia or Online DBT Therapy

#7 Opposite Action

Opposite action, as a technique, involves consciously reminding oneself to act in a way that is opposite to the initial urge or impulse. It proves to be incredibly effective, particularly when one finds themselves succumbing to their emotions without having the opportunity to rationally evaluate their actions. At times, our instincts may steer us in unhelpful directions, which is why it becomes important to identify the overwhelming emotions and pause to reflect. The act of pausing, in itself, allows for a moment of clarity where we can ask ourselves if we genuinely want to proceed with the behavior in question. By doing so, we engage in a thoughtful assessment of the possible consequences, thereby making an informed decision rather than acting impulsively on mere emotions. Ultimately, opposite action empowers individuals to exercise conscious control over their behaviors, enabling them to choose a path that aligns with rationality, rather than surrendering to their emotional whims.

#8 Cope Ahead

Cope ahead skill helps us deal with stressful situations before they happen. Instead of waiting until we're in the middle of a tough situation, we prepare ourselves in advance.

For instance, if we're worried about holiday travel, we don't wait until we're on the plane or in the car to practice relaxation techniques. Instead, we use the Cope Ahead skill to start these techniques at home. Another example is preparing for difficult family interactions during the holidays. Rather than trying to cope in the moment, we take care of ourselves beforehand by practicing how to respond and making sure we're not hungry, tired, or already frustrated.

#9 Self-Compassion

Amidst the seasonal rush, it's essential to cultivate self-compassion. Recognize that perfection is not attainable and allow yourself to prioritize self-care.

Practice self-kindness, offering yourself grace and forgiveness for any perceived mistakes or shortcomings.

Engage in activities that bring you joy and help maintain a healthy work-life balance. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it lays the foundation for well-being and enables you to show up fully for others.

As the holiday season approaches, integrating DBT skills into your daily life can empower you to navigate the stressors and challenges that may arise with resilience and emotional well-being. Remember that building skill mastery takes time and practice; be patient with yourself as you implement these techniques. If additional support is needed, do not hesitate to reach out to our DBT therapists who can guide you through this transformative journey. Wishing you a peaceful and fulfilling holiday season filled with growth and joy!

During the holiday season, we understand that people face many difficulties. But at Spilove Psychotherapy, we believe that we can help you through the use of DBT therapy. This type of therapy can give you important guidance and support during this challenging time. To start feeling better, we invite you to schedule a free 15-minute phone call with one of our skilled DBT therapists. Take the first step to a happier and healthier holiday season by contacting us today!